Winning for Winston

We just got back from a whirlwind trip to Minn-uh-soda. Six hours in the car Saturday and six hours in the car Sunday (we may have sped a little).

The reason we went is to attend a very special event (Winning for Winston, a benefit to raise funds for ALS research) for our friend Mikey.  

Me, Mikey and Nater last May.

Mikey was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) at the young age of 24. He is now 26 and struggles everyday to do many of the things we take for granted, like tying our shoes.    

How Are You Really Doing? — Interview with Mike Winston from Ben Co. on Vimeo.

If you want to donate or learn more about ALS please go to this website: http://www.als.net/Default.aspx

Para... what?!

Do you know what a paraprosdokian is? Yeah, well, I didn't until I received a forward from my grammy (love you a bushel) with a list of them. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part.

 

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

That's mine.

On Friday night we tried to hit up First Friday. We missed out on seeing the art for hunger had struck and my mood was getting rather salty. Things were a little more difficult because I was with both of the Ross twins and the two of them together is a wee bit different than just dealing with the one. So we decided to hit up Hamburger Mary’s (which apparently is a chain because Jeff Lewis and Co. went to the one in LA on last night’s episode of Flipping Out). Yes, it is pretty much one of the gayest places in KC (minus Missie B’s of course) but that didn’t bother Nater and Danny… No, no… they are completely comfortable with their sexuality and all that jazz. As we walked in; I made sure to tell Danny that it was only a matter of time until Nathan got hit on. I mean, he’s a hottie and guys and girls alike dig his manly, chiseled face.


We find a table upstairs on their roof deck and order a round of beers and browse the menu. I notice a guy – early 30s – sort of swaying to and fro right next to our table. He takes a huge gulp of his beer and turns toward Nater… and lets out a real long “Hiiiiiiiii…” with a huge smile plastered on his face. He tries his hardest to make small talk with Nater; even going so far as to flirtatiously grab his arm but he’s obviously intoxicated and having troubles putting any words together.


“Scuze me. That’s mine!” I say. He clearly didn’t hear me because all eyes were on my Tot.
“Hi! My name is Ashley and unfortunately for you this is mine. Sorry.”
“Hi… my name is Paaaaaatrick.”
I introduced Danny and Nathan and he promptly pulls his chair as close as possible to Danny (obviously marking my territory worked).


I just watched in amazement. I lived in San Fran for 4+ years and never have I once seen a gay man so blatantly go after straight guys. Of course I didn’t really hang out with straight guys in San Fran and if I did we didn’t really go to gay bars but still… it was an anomaly.


He went so far as to put his hand way up on Danny’s inner thigh. Can you say awk-ward?
The whole time I kept thinking… Why do I not have my camera!!? Ugh


Patrick was soon taken away by his friend to get some water but not before telling him "They don't suck cock!" pointing to Nater and Danny. Ain't that the truth. 


After we enjoyed our delicious burger, we headed to the Cashew and I made Nater take another round of pics... Gawd I love him!

Oh and everyone lets welcome back Fritz - aka Tot's beard. He likes to hang out in the fall and winter. 

Sick.

What do you think this is?

Some of you already know but for those who don't - it's mechanically separated chicken! Vom.

I of course asked Nater if he'd seen the email in which this bit of info was in and he matter-of-factly said "I don't know. You sent me lots of stupid stuff today... " Okay, so after I explained to him what I was talking about he was all "They taste gooooood!" Um, sure. You dunk them in so much sweet & sour/BBQ/Honey Mustard sauce; you could be eating anything. 

Well, it grosses me out - especially reading about the process:
...because it's crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

Sorry Mickey D's - they don't look much better on your site.
 

Glove Love

 

It's almost time to get out your gloves again! I like a good solid leather pair that are chic and lined with something uber soft like cashmere or the basic ISOTONER has never let me down. They are perfect for avoiding putting your bare hands on the freezing steering wheel. Brrr....

Bright colors and extra embellishments are where it's at. Anyone want to let me borrow $940 for the gold fingernail gloves? Yeah, didn't think so.

(Rando) Writings on the wall

So I haven't finished going through the Crawl for Cancer pics yet. There are some that aren't really that appropriate for my blog. I guess alcohol brings out the immaturity in us all. Here are some random writings I found during C4C...

TGIF

What do you all have planned for the weekend?

My sister and bro-in-law roped us in for Crawl for Cancer. Our team name: French Toast Mafia. I am not sure the significance of said name but our fedoras and feather boas will surely impress. I'll post some pics of our adventures next week.

Now off to US Toy to find some canes, guns, gun holsters, bling, etc.

(via this Arizona running group)